Help! I’m in Love with Him but He is Stingy and Rude. Should I marry him?

Help! I’m in Love with Him but He is Stingy and Rude. Should I marry him?

As a single lady, can you marry a guy that lies, who is stingy and who is rude all in the name of love? Just before you answer the above question, kindly read the story below.

It was sent to MATTERS OF THE HEART of by one of our readers seeking advice on what to do next. Cynthia is currently on a hot sit on whether to either choose LOVE or CHARACTER.

Please, I need your help. My name is Cynthia. I am a 29-year-old lady and graduate of Economics at UNILAG.

I’ve been in this relationship with this guy, Shola, for eight months now.

Shola is handsome, hardworking, caring (especially to me) and he works with an oil company (name withheld).

We met at a wedding party of a friend a year and nine months ago and the rest is history.

Shola proposed marriage to me last weekend. Of course, I was shocked as I was not expecting it then. So, I told him to give me a little time to consider his request (thank God he didn’t propose to me in public, it would have been something else).

Though I love Shola, I am scared of marrying him. This is because it seems I’m the only one seeing the good side of him.

Shola has some characters in him that I don’t like and I’ve tried so many times to stop these character traits in him.

Shola is good at lying! (except to me). He is rude especially to opposite sex (even to his mother and female siblings) and he is a little bit stingy even to me, as he has never bought me any gift since we’ve been together except paying for foods and drinks bills anytime we meet in eateries (our usual joint).

He hardly talked about his aged mother or siblings during our conversation not to talk of taking care of the old woman and widow, though he is the firstborn.

Now, I am seriously worried about his proposal. Just like I’ve heard my people say that what a man can do to his mother or siblings when he is single, he will sure do to his wife in marriage. And a stingy bachelor cannot make a generous husband.
I discussed this with a friend and she said “Love Conquers all things,” she said what we need is love and not characters.

So, I have decided to share my story while seeking advice from brave and mature minds here.

I love him so much but I am confused. Please, help!

Cynthia, Lagos.

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Alamu Tosin

The writer is Alamu Tosin. I have three strong passions in life — football, blogging and movies — in that order. I love spending time with friends talking about the important things in life and hate nothing more than ‘authority’ and hypocrisy. My personal believe in life is that once an individual sets his/her mind to achieve something, it is totally possible. And oh!, I am a strong Lannister, because I always pay my debt. For writing or fixing gigs, contact [email protected].
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