10 Signs You Are the Side Chick In A Relationship

Have you ever found yourself questioning your role in a relationship? Perhaps you’ve noticed certain patterns or behaviors that make you feel like you’re not the main focus. In this article, we will explore ten signs that may indicate you are the side chick in a relationship. Understanding these signs can help you gain clarity and make informed decisions about your future. So, let’s delve into these signs and shed light on this often challenging situation.

1. Lack of Public Acknowledgment

One of the telltale signs that you might be the side chick is the lack of public acknowledgment from your partner. If your relationship is kept hidden from family, friends, or even social media, it may be a red flag. A healthy and committed relationship involves sharing and celebrating each other openly.

2. Limited Availability

Another sign is limited availability. If your partner only has time for you at odd hours, cancels plans frequently, or is unavailable during significant events, it suggests that you may not hold a central place in their life. A committed partner would prioritize spending quality time with you and make you feel valued.

3. Restricted Communication

Communication plays a vital role in any relationship, but if your partner is secretive about their phone, avoids answering calls or messages in your presence, or becomes defensive when you inquire about their activities, it may indicate that you are the side chick. Open and transparent communication is crucial for a healthy, committed relationship.

4. No Future Plans

When you’re in a committed relationship, making future plans together is natural. However, if your partner avoids discussing the future or shows no interest in building a life with you, it may be a sign that you are not their priority. A lack of future plans can indicate that you are simply a temporary part of their life.

5. Secrecy and Hidden Agenda

If your partner exhibits secretive behavior, such as always being guarded about their whereabouts or being evasive about their personal life, it could be a sign that you are the side chick. Relationships thrive on trust and openness, and secrecy often indicates an underlying hidden agenda.

6. Ignored on Special Occasions

Being disregarded or overlooked on special occasions, such as birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays, can be disheartening. If your partner fails to acknowledge or celebrate these important milestones with you, it may suggest that you are not their primary focus. In a committed relationship, both partners should make an effort to create meaningful memories together.

7. Lack of Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. However, if your partner consistently avoids deep conversations, shies away from sharing their feelings, or keeps you at an emotional distance, it may indicate that you are not their main emotional support. Feeling emotionally disconnected can be a sign that you are the side chick.

8. Inconsistent Behavior

Unpredictable or inconsistent behavior from your partner can be a strong indication that you are not their main priority. They might show affection and attention one moment and then become distant or disinterested the next. In a committed relationship, consistency and stability are crucial for building trust and a strong connection.

9. Absence from Important Events

If your partner consistently fails to include you in significant events, such as family gatherings, work functions, or social outings, it may suggest that they are keeping you hidden. Being excluded from these occasions can make you feel like an outsider in their life and raise questions about the nature of your relationship.

10. Feeling Like a Secret

Ultimately, the most telling sign is when you consistently feel like a secret in your partner’s life. If you sense that your relationship is not acknowledged or validated openly, and you find yourself questioning where you stand, it may be time to reflect on your role in the relationship and whether it aligns with your needs and expectations.

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Being the side chick in a relationship can be emotionally challenging and leave you feeling undervalued. Recognizing the signs discussed in this article is the first step toward gaining clarity about your position. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you are valued, respected, and treated as a priority. If you find yourself identifying with these signs, it may be time to have an open and honest conversation with your partner or reevaluate your own needs and priorities.


1. How can I determine if I’m the side chick in a relationship?

Look for signs such as lack of public acknowledgment, limited availability, restricted communication, and secrecy in the relationship. These indicators can help you assess your role.

2. Can a side chick ever become the main partner?

While every situation is unique, it’s important to have open and honest communication with your partner. However, be cautious about staying in a relationship where you are not valued or respected.

3. Should I confront my partner about my suspicions?

Having a conversation about your concerns is essential. Open communication can provide clarity and help you make informed decisions about your relationship.

4. How do I protect my emotions in this situation?

Focus on self-care, set boundaries, and surround yourself with supportive friends and family. It’s important to prioritize your emotional well-being.

5. Is it possible to have a healthy relationship as a side chick?

A healthy relationship is built on trust, respect, and open communication. Being a side chick often lacks these essential elements, making it difficult to sustain a healthy relationship in the long run.

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Alamu Tosin

The writer is Alamu Tosin. I have three strong passions in life — football, blogging and movies — in that order. I love spending time with friends talking about the important things in life and hate nothing more than ‘authority’ and hypocrisy. My personal believe in life is that once an individual sets his/her mind to achieve something, it is totally possible. And oh!, I am a strong Lannister, because I always pay my debt. For writing or fixing gigs, contact tosinalamu@gmail.com.
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