Top 7 Quick Steps To Reconnect With Your Spouse After A Quarrel

The fastest way to reconnect with your spouse after a quarrel is to go through the way of reconciliation.

Reconciliation is the opposite of retaliation. They are like light and darkness; they don’t see face to face.

Every marriage needs reconciliation. Retaliation is a babyish attitude while reconciliation is baby-like behaviour. Your spouse cannot but offend you. Intimacy and closeness can bring their own challenges but all we need to do is to forgive, discuss and reconcile.

Reconciliation is the anchor of any successful family. It helps to build and rebuild homes. It stabilizes, strengthens and energizes relationships.

It puts an end to war and makes the weapon of war useless and outdated. It turns sworn enemies to best of friends; it heals wounds without scars and allows love to flow ceaselessly among people.


(1) – Decision. Decide to be the more mature person in the marriage. Decide to give reconciliation anything it takes. Decide to obey the injunction of the Bible that states,

“And the servant of the Lord must not strive but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient.

In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves, if God, peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth” (2 Timothy 2:24-25).

(2) Forgive. Forgiveness is a personal commitment; it involves only you. Therefore, make up your mind to forgive and release your spouse.

(3) Open channels of communication. Humble yourself and reach out to your partner. Please if necessary take a step. Let there be communication. No war will last forever; let there be a ceasefire.

(4) Speak the truth in love. Do not accuse your spouse. Please don’t. Rather talk to him/her in love. Move closer and touch as you talk. Build your marriage before the devil does the damage.

(5) Pray for your spouse; pray about the case. Tell God the root of the bitterness. Learn to be guided by the Holy Ghost. Do not be ignorant of the devices of the enemy. Pray and liberate your home.

(6) Never refer to old issues. No matter what happens in the future, never refer to old hurts. Make it a policy in your marriage never to refer to old issues during present conflict.

(7) Return to the old relationship.
There is the tendency for you to find it difficult to return to your previous relationship with your spouse. Some may reconcile but will refuse to sleep in the same room. Others may say, “I have forgiven you but your mother can never stay with us again”. Please do not allow this. Go back to your old love; let the love flow again. Go back to how you started.

Let romance be in the house. Embrace each other again. Let the hurting end and allow the wound to heal totally. Remove anything that will remind you of them. Move closer to your spouse; be vulnerable and allow yourself to be “captured”. Release yourself because it is good for your marriage and family.

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Alamu Tosin

The writer is Alamu Tosin. I have three strong passions in life — football, blogging and movies — in that order. I love spending time with friends talking about the important things in life and hate nothing more than ‘authority’ and hypocrisy. My personal believe in life is that once an individual sets his/her mind to achieve something, it is totally possible. And oh!, I am a strong Lannister, because I always pay my debt. For writing or fixing gigs, contact [email protected].
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