How To raise Strong And Confident Daughters And Sons

How To Raise Strong And Confident Daughters And Sons

My Dad always sounds it in my ears, “Simi, you must be tough. Being girlish and being ladylike is not an excuse for weakness”.

This he still says to me and my sisters till this very day. All the children were raised to do the “masculine” as well as the “feminine” tasks.

My sisters and I started winding a 15KVA generator as soon as we got one. I learnt how to wash a car (internal and external) before the age of 16.

I started learning how to drive a car immediately after secondary school. My Dad told me that before he allowed me to drive out independently, that I must learn how to change car tyres. I remember I was forming ‘ajebutter’ and my Dad said to me “If you are driving on a lonely highway and you need to change your tyre, what would you do? You will have to get down and change it… that’s the common sense thing to do. It’s a survival skill for drivers.

Car tyres are not changed with a male private part, so you don’t need to worry about not having one”.

My brother?

He started washing the dishes as soon as he could reach the sink and handle the dishes.

He started cooking simple meals before the age of 10.

He started washing his socks and underwears before the age of 7.

He started handling his laundry before the age of 11 when he had to go to boarding school. In my house, the rule was (still is) that anyone who eats must be able to get involved in the kitchen when required. My father tells me I can be president, not a first lady.

There is nothing wrong with being the first lady, but there’s also nothing wrong with being the husband of the president. Thus, if you tell your son that he can be president, you should also tell your daughter that she can be president.

The hidden but significant psychology behind this is that telling your daughter that she can be president pushes her to be great while telling her that she can be the first lady pushes her to aspire to marry a great man, and probably reduces the needed inspiration to aspiring to exercise her maximum potentials.

We need to stop teaching our girls to believe that the best they can be is to exist under the success of a man, their husbands. It is a disfavour to humanity to raise your son with the impression that he is better than other females just because he owns a male private part. Raise your daughters to understand that they are not inferior to males. Teach your sons to be as domesticated as your daughters, and push your daughters to attain financing independence as much as you push your sons.

This way, we will raise a less entitled and more responsible generation, equipped with all vital survival skills, and with fewer handicaps. Charity begins at home, not in the offices or workplaces

Alamu Tosin

The writer is Alamu Tosin. I have three strong passions in life — football, blogging and movies — in that order. I love spending time with friends talking about the important things in life and hate nothing more than ‘authority’ and hypocrisy. My personal believe in life is that once an individual sets his/her mind to achieve something, it is totally possible. And oh!, I am a strong Lannister, because I always pay my debt. For writing or fixing gigs, contact tosinalamu@gmail.com.

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