No relationship is smooth sailing 100% of the time. There will always be a couple of ruts that will come by without warning. One of the reasons why this happens is if one of the partners becomes moody, and starts bringing negative energy into the relationship.
In this situation, it can feel like there is a Harry Potter Dementor sucking the fun out of your bond. Another reason this can be happening is when your relationship is going through a big change, such as a change in your living conditions, jobs or even a major life event.
Sometimes, the culprit lies in the hormones. Specifically, your girl’s hormones during a particularly trying time of the month. In this case, your best bet is to just brace yourself and look forward to the day when the hormones are no longer raging.
Nobody wants a sulky girlfriend. But at the same time, it can be tricky to reverse the situation. Sometimes people just get stuck in rough spots in life, whatever the reason may be. You don’t want to become her therapist, but you also want to get some of the life and energy back in your relationship.
1. Ask her what’s wrong
No matter what your opinion is, keep it to yourself. Let her vent and get the story out, just nodding and adding a small comment when necessary. If she doesn’t want to tell you, don’t pressure her. Some girls don’t like to talk about why they’re so upset. If this is the case, just tell her that you care and let her cry it out.
2. Give her small surprises
At first, small surprises may not seem like they are very significant. However, they can actually go a long way when it comes to making her feel better. A surprise shows that you were thinking about her during the day, and that you care enough about her to get her a gift to make her feel good. This little boost of self-esteem and show of affection may help to lift her from her mood.
Some examples of things that you could use for small surprises are chocolate bars, roses, a cute little trinket or even her favorite snack. Anything that you think she will like will probably work.
3. Pick up the phone
Sometimes the simplest things can be the hardest. There are days when the phone feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. Usually, it’s because we just don’t know what to say in the face of our friends troubles. Remember—this isn’t a stranger, this is your friend. Pick up the phone and call. I often find it useful to check with my friend to see what role she needs from me—is my job to help solve problems, to distract her and cheer her up, or just to listen.
4. Be patient as she gets a hold of her feelings
This doesn’t mean be passive. Rather, you should watch, wait, and know when to act. It may take a while for your girlfriend to open up depending on how upset she is. Knowing when to act will only be possible through communication. Consistently ask her if she’s ready to talk about it.
5. Take her on a special date
Taking your girlfriend to a really fancy restaurant can help to make her feel special and cared for. Maybe all she needs is a good wining and dining. Some great quality food and drink may just lift her spirits. Most women love any excuse to get all dressed up to go out, and simply having a reason to look great can be enough to cheer her up.
6. Cuddle with her
As much as most girls normally love and need cuddling, when they are feeling down about something, their craving for it can go way up. Hugs, after all, are a great remedy for a ton of stuff like negative emotions, stress, and even tiredness. Give her one long cuddle session, and the spring in her step should be back in no time.
7. Send a message
Tweet, text, email, Facebook message—how you contact your friend doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you find a way to let her know you are thinking of her and sending her a virtual hug.