How To Let A Guy Know You Are Not Interested
Wondering how to tell a guy you’re not interested in him? You don’t have to ghost him or be a complete asshole, just use these suggestions instead.
Listen, it’s time to grow up. I’m saying this as a retired ghoster, it’s really not cool. You need to learn how to tell a guy you’re not interested in him. Don’t just ignore him.
I’ll be honest, I ghosted guys many times. It’s not like I really wanted to do it, but I was a pussy, plain and simple. I didn’t have the guts to tell them I wasn’t interested. Instead, I just ignored them. Is it nice? No. Does it show that I’m mature? Absolutely not.
Rather than just saying, hey, I didn’t really feel a connection or
I’m not interested, I would drag these guys on for weeks as I developed the courage to reject them. Of course, that day never came so I ghosted instead.
How to tell a guy you’re not interested in him
Dating sucks. Okay, I actually love dating. But when you experience ghosting, it dampens your whole parade. You may have had an amazing date and spent a couple days texting, but now, someone new came along or you’re simply not that into him. Listen, that’s okay. These things happen. That’s why it’s called dating and not marriage.
Dating is all about meeting people and seeing who would be the best match for you when it comes to finding a partner. But the way you end a relationship is what truly shows the type of person you are. You know ghosting isn’t the way to do it, so learn how to tell a guy, you’re not interested in her.
#1 You don’t have to like him.
Here’s the thing, the whole reason why we ghost people is that we feel bad about hurting their feelings. We feel bad for them that we don’t like them. But you know that you have the right to not be interested in him and vice versa.
In essence, by ghosting him and emotionally dragging him on, you’re not giving him the closure that both of you deserve. Whether you’ve only gone on a couple of dates or hooked up a couple of times, you have the right to not be interested in him anymore.
#2 Know that it’s over.
Whatever it was that you had with him, you concluded that you no longer want that. Usually, we ghost people and those that we were kinda into, we text them again months later.
Don’t be that girl. Instead, know that you don’t want anything with him. By being firm in your beliefs, you can step up and tell him what you feel.
#3 Text him.
Listen, you don’t need to go for a coffee in order to tell him you’re not interested in him. Now, if you were dating him for months, that might be a different story. But let’s be real, you don’t have to see him in person. You have an excellent alternative to ghosting, just send him a text instead. You don’t need to actually confront him, it’s just a quick message. Poof, it’s done.
#4 Make a clean break.
Don’t have this prolonged dramatic saga of telling him you’re not interested. Listen, you don’t like him. That’s really all it is. And for the sake of everyone involved, it’s best if you do it as cleanly and quickly as possible. Treat it like ripping off a Bandaid. Sure, his ego will be hurt *maybe even his feelings* but dragging him along will only make this entire situation worse.
#5 Give a reason.
Don’t give him an excuse as to why you’re not interested in him, give him a reason. Don’t tell him that your dog died or that it’s you and not them. Just give them a straight reason.
If you’re not interested in him, just tell him that you don’t feel the chemistry or connection that you need. You don’t need to be harsh, but be honest. No one can call you an asshole for being honest. Okay, he’ll still call you an asshole because his ego is shot, but you’re not an actual asshole.
#6 If he doesn’t understand, be clear.
He may not understand what you mean when you say you don’t like him in that way. Maybe you weren’t straightforward enough or they may be too emotional. Listen, just be clear.
You don’t need to give him an hour explanation of what the difference between like and
like is. Make it clear that you don’t feel the connection, and the best way to say this is by literally saying those words.
#7 Allow him to speak.
You said what you needed to say, and let’s be honest, your opinion isn’t going to be changing any time soon. But that doesn’t mean he’s not allowed his opportunity to say what he needs to say.
Maybe he has nothing to say, but that’s not the point. Allow him the ability to express his feelings rather than just cutting him off straight away. Yes, you should be clean and quick with what you need to say, but he can respond and he probably will.
#8 Give him space.
After that, give him space. He may be completely cool with it, and you’ll be able to carry on the conversation for a couple minutes until it dies off. Or, he may be really upset. Whichever happens, allow him the space he needs. Don’t try to suffocate him with apologies or hang around because you feel bad.
#9 Don’t text him.
After you end the conversation, do not text him. Come on, just let him go. You already rejected him nicely. Don’t give him any idea the smallest hope of you liking him. You said what you needed to say, and now you need to allow him to move on.
#10 Do you want friendship?
Now, if you were friends and he told you how he felt, you’re obviously going to talk to him about it. But now the question remains, do you want to keep the friendship? This isn’t necessarily for you but rather for him.
He’s your friend, but he has feelings for you and that makes this messy. So, ask him what he’d like to do and then respect his wishes.
Come on, if you’re still ghosting then it’s clear you’re not mature enough for a relationship. It’s time to act your age and learn how tell a guy you’re not interested in him.