As a member of the National Association of Present Day Nigerian Youth (NAPNY), I have come to give you five good reasons we are the best. You see, it takes only a beltless legend like myself to see the beauty of this great generation and why we are better than our forefathers. Listen attentively as I won’t repeat myself, and, as you all know, what a beltless legend sees while sitting, an old man cannot see it while standing even if he is using a telescope.
1. We don’t plan:
In this life ehn, we cannot die young. We take things one step at a time. See those old people that tell us to plan, who they epp? Upon all the plan, what have they achieved? As an elder statesman among the youth, I can categorically tell you that plans are useless and goals are baseless. The only goal that makes sense is to get rich quick.
If I ask one of my guys studying Agricultural Engineering what he wants to become in future, he will tell you, “an Agricultural Engineer”. Very smart, right? Don’t bother to compliment him. My guys are great like that.
Ask him where he wants to work, and he will tell you “anywhere”. My guy is intelligent and multi-talented. He can work in a bank, a supermarket, or even a morgue as long as it pays well. Is it not to make money?
Can you now see that plans are useless? If Chidima see money, plan go scatter.
2. We are very united:
What’s that thing they say about unity sef? I think, “United we start, divided we fail.”
My fellow youth have a bond that is so great that everything is done in unity. When the ladies learnt make-up, they learnt it together. When we began mini importation, we began together. When we started investing in Forsage and Lion’s Share, we all started at the same time.
To prove to you that this unity is not new, few years ago, we all invested in MMM together, and when MMM ran away with our investment, we all cried and drank garri together. Can you now see that we are smarter than Dangote, Otedola, and Mike Adenuga combined? After all, unlike us, they are not united. Maybe they would have been wealthier.
3. We hate patience:
Patience is the only reason some of our grandfathers died without beards. Why will I suffer from the emoji syndrome (beardlessness) when there are special beard oils in the market to accelerate the process. I refuse to be a fool. As an elder statesman, I am telling you now that if that business you invested $500 in is not bringing back up to $120,000 dollars in a month, it’s not worth it. A whole Nigerian youth and you cannot give your girlfriend a Bugatti on her birthday! It is patience that will still kill you. If we cannot make the money, we steal it.
4. We are great leaders:
Sorry, what do you call a guy with 300 followers on Twitter? He is a leader! Add small Twitter savagery and he becomes the go-to guy for useless criticism of politicians. The leadership skills of Nigerian youth is so great that people willingly follow us. Oya make us class representatives and you will love our administration. We will spoil our class mates with extra charges for the purchase of course materials and give incentives of unnecessary stress. Yes now, as leaders, we have to feel important, earn some cool cash, and “take care of ourselves” like our mentors at the NDDC.
5. We are very obedient:
Whether it is to snatch ballot boxes or spell coconut, we don’t refuse to answer when the elders call, especially when they shake our hands with a handful of freshly minted 1000 naira notes. We are not doing it for the money o. We are simply snatching ballot boxes and protesting because it is unfair to cheat such a kind and pleasant politician.
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With just five reasons, I have shown you what the elders have been trying to hide from us by calling us lazy. We are great and our goal is a great one. You see those haters called elders, they are trying to copy us but Khaki no be leather. So when you hear that Nigerian youth are bad, just know that it was said by a hater, and start trending a Twitter hashtag.