4 Major Fears That Are Ruining Your Relationship

4 Major Fears That Are Ruining Your Relationship

Fear ruins a relationship. It is an imaginary horror, something that you have made up in your mind. And you feel strongly that it will happen to you. Fear ruins every iota of faith in a relationship .

Though fear is a constant companion for every man, how you deal with the fear is very important. It is important to deal with these fears in your relationship so that you can live a life full of butterflies and you won’t have to worry about imaginary panic and envy.

Fear of Getting Hurt

In a relationship, it is likely you will get hurt. You don’t need to have the fear of being hurt. Your spouse will hurt you certainly but when there is an anticipated phobia, something called
“traumatophobia, ” it creates a mental picture of hurt and uncertainty. Don’t allow the fear of the future distort your power of faith in the future. If you’ve been with someone for a while, don’t let the fear of future hurt poison the time you have together. If they’ve been respectful up to this point, chances are they will continue to respect and value you.

Fear of Rejection

According to Dr. Lisa Firestone, a clinical psychologist, states that “In any relationship, the only person you can control is yourself. By being open to how we are resistant to achieving the love we say we want, we empower ourselves to change 100 percent of our half of the dynamic. Even a less-than-perfect relationship can teach us the ways we limit ourselves and help us grow our capacity to love. It is in our power to decide who we want to be in our relationship and to act in accordance with that, no matter what our partner does” (Firestone, 2014).

Fear of settling

This stems from the belief that our partner is not good enough. And because of this, there is this fear of settling down with your partner. As a person in a relationship, it is expedient to know that the grass is not always green on the other side. If you are unsure or sad about something in your relationship, discuss them with your partner so that you can work on those things. Also, make sure that you acknowledge the good in your relationship.

Fear of Vulnerability

Brene Brown in her TEDTalk titled “The Power of Vulnerability” she posited that we ought to embrace our vulnerability. According to her research, she said that people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and found that the “thing that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn’t talk about vulnerability being comfortable… [they] just talked about it being necessary” (Brown, 2011). The vulnerability is horrible and uncomfortable. But to have a good relationship, we have to believe that we are worthy of that bond and allow ourselves the opportunity to be brave. And this will create intimacy between you and your partner.

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Alamu Tosin

The writer is Alamu Tosin. I have three strong passions in life — football, blogging and movies — in that order. I love spending time with friends talking about the important things in life and hate nothing more than ‘authority’ and hypocrisy. My personal believe in life is that once an individual sets his/her mind to achieve something, it is totally possible. And oh!, I am a strong Lannister, because I always pay my debt. For writing or fixing gigs, contact [email protected].
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