There are two forms of single. There is single before you ever have your first relationship, and there is single after your first relationship. Like a real relationship, not the “we got married on the playground” relationship. Up until I was 17, I was the never-had-a-boyfriend single, and after that relationship sailed into the sunset, then sunk, I’ve learned an entirely new way of being single. I thought things would go back to how it was before my first relationship, but instead, things were much different. For the better, might I add.
Here are the 38 most important lessons I have learned so far in my post-relationship singleness.
1. Sex won’t make him stay.
2. Self-love should come first.
3. Being alone is different than being lonely.
4. A failed relationship doesn’t mean you have failed.
5. There’s a big difference between love and infatuation.
6. Someone who loves you will never try to change you.
7. But you should never try to change someone you love.
8. Red flags should never be ignored.
9. Never take a relationship for granted.
10. Playing games will never benefit you in the long run.
11. Don’t mess with people’s feelings.
12. Don’t let others mess with yours, either.
13. Timing is a bitch.
14. But realistically, it’s not to blame for everything.
15. You cannot force a real connection; it should happen naturally.
17. Heartbreak is a temporary feeling.
18. Time doesn’t heal you, you heal with time.
19. Every “love story” is different.
20. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.
21. Just because you have history with someone does not mean you should be with them.
22. You should never stay with someone just because you’re afraid of being alone.
23. A soulmate doesn’t always have to be a romantic partner.
24. A rebound will only distract you temporarily.
25. Stop blaming the past for your “shortcomings” in relationships.
26. Recognize that we all have a past.
27. Take time to date yourself first.
28. Never lose sight of your independence.
29. Your partner should add to your happiness, but they should not be the sole source of it.
30. Until you can take care of yourself, you cannot take care of somebody else.
31. Never compare a new partner to a former one.
32. You don’t need someone else to validate your worth.
33. Someone might want you but that doesn’t always mean that they value you.
34. There’s a difference between want and need.
35. A relationship is not the only source of love.
36. Being alone can be fun.
37. Your solitude is a privilege you should never take for granted.
38. Being single is really the time to get to know yourself in ways you never imagined.